struggling to feel comfortable with the choices i've made

Uncertainty is something I know will be a constant throughout my life, like a friend holding my hand. I deeply struggle to grow into the uncertainty, and to understand that everyone has it and is probably experiencing the same emotions as me. Nowhere is this feeling more prominent than in the career path I chose, journalism. 

The thing is, I love writing and connecting with a large audience. I like the principles of journalism and its importance in our societal function. It is necessary. But, do I really see myself covering hard news for the rest of my life? Honestly, no. And that's not the kind of journalist I would strive to be. 

Before I even changed my major about two years ago, I imagined that was the life I was destined for: living in a cramped apartment, books and papers strewn about and all I can focus on is my hectic work schedule. Enticing, but simply, it felt as though it were a distraction to something much greater. 

It might be immature to assume that is the only life path available with my degree, which I know is not true. However, seeing friends and peers graduate and move on to their careers, they have all seemed to fall in line and pursue a similar lifestyle to what I described above. That thought alone makes the idea of myself moving on with my career to be a very real choice I've made. How can I know that I'm on the right track?

I'm young, there's lots of life left. Even though it's easy to give into all the possible "what-ifs" and "could-haves", the strength to accept the current life path must prevail. But truly, sometimes it also feels like I am destined for something greater--is that too selfish of me to assume? Even though the idea of fading into the background seems comfortable, there are parts of me that call out to this fantasy and are increasingly hard for me to ignore.

Fantasy is wild because you really can believe yourself to be anything. Truthfully, I can't even imagine would my "something greater" would even look like. Do I have hobbies and passions? Yes. Do I want to devote my entire soul and being into one single thing? I don't know. I am not one of those people who are placed on Earth and are destined to one thing, like they were born to do it. 

I was always kind of jealous of those people. Effortless. 

But at the end of the day, I'm a broke college student who still believes the world revolves around her...how unique. I hope I don't come off as too whiny here, it's hard for me to talk about these kind of feelings without feeling like some self-obsessed freak. Anyway, that's all I have for today. Until next time, cheers! 

moving in / the pit of summer

 This summer, I was gifted with the opportunity of packing up my cramped two-bedroom apartment, and fleeing to a spacious, six-bedroom, two-story home just across town. The best part? I'm living with my closest friends I've made since moving to Chico, and of course, my hometown best friend. 

The huge window brings in so much natural light!  

The house itself is to die for: bright turquoise exterior with outstretching limbs of lavender plants sprawling across the front yard. It's a historical home -- the property's land deed was gifted from the founders of the town I live in. the archways all have a curvature to them, a strong indicator that the integrity of the home is preserved in its original form. A brick chimney tunnels into a beautiful, working fireplace in the living room, the mantle adorned with nails in it for stocking during the holiday season. The downstairs bathroom is adorable (and pink!), and the kitchen floor is tiled in a checkerboard pattern. 

But truly, the showstopper in my eyes is the upstairs. All of the bedrooms are so adorable, they all have such a cozy vibe to them because they all have a kind of loft ceiling. My bedroom is up here, naturally. I took the one with the most windows, because I know that I'll be able to watch the seasons change from my room. I imagine watching the rain pour down during the fall, and the birds chirping in the spring. Right now though, it's fucking hot, and arguably the worst room to have during the scorching summer. 

Saying goodbye to the old apartment was kind of sentimental. She treated us so well, with care. It was the first place I called home away from my parents. It was the first place I did a lot of things: hosted a party, smoked indoors, helped my best friend get through a breakup. She's seen the ugliest sides of me, but I know she's seen the best too. It's weird to completely abandon a place you've spent so much time in. In a way, it's a breakup within itself. 

It's also a new beginning. I can tell this new home is going to create so many memories. I've only lived in it for a few weeks but it's already full of stories. 

Summer is a weird time for me, always. I feel like I should love it, but really, it's my least favorite part of the year, if it really came down to it. I'm born during the summer (June 28, never forget it), so I always think this should be my most transformative period of the year, but really it always seems like the most intense. I fight with my parents, I feel out of place in situations that should feel comfortable, the list goes on. 

This is a special summer, though because it's the first one where I'm spending a majority of it away from my family, and not in San Diego. It's a breath of fresh air to be away, but I find myself feeling a little nostalgic for the things I used to do. I remember the salty air always blowing in my hair from the ocean, walking on the warm sidewalk while the sun paints the sky a beautiful collage of pinks and oranges, the purple jacaranda flowers falling from my backyard tree. My mom would get so annoyed when they got stuck to our shoes and we tracked them through the house. 

I enjoy the freedom, and the peace. But I also miss the chaos of scrambling for a family trip, remembering a toothbrush on the way out. In those moments I dreamed of the life I live now, so maybe I just want what I can't have. 

Clearly, there is lots to think about. Until next time, cheers! 

outfit evolution

Hi.

I've been thinking a lot about my fashion choices, primarily because seasons are changing, and it's starting to become my favorite time of year for fashion. I am a fan of layering in an outfit, and when it becomes too hot, basically all opportunity for that melts away with the snow. 

Fashion has always been a part of my life. I liked to dress up, wear my nana's old opera costumes and prance around the house like a celebrity. Even when I was a strange middle schooler I still thought I had fashion sense (I promise that I absolutely didn't, you'll see in these photos). And today, I think I am pretty proud of the way I choose to express myself. 

Today I thought I would take you on my journey through aesthetics, countless thrifted tops and interesting haircuts. 

Starting off strong with one of my FAVORITE outfits in middle school. I think this was in seventh grade, and I had just gotten this top at old navy to replace one that I had in a different pattern. 

These shorts were from Nordstrom and my grandma had bought them for me as a birthday present. I thought I was such a cool girl because they were from Nordstrom, I don't think I ever gotten anything from there unless she bought it for me. 

I loved my white Converse high-top shoes, so much to the point they started to turn yellow after only a year of having them. 

This photo was taken on my beloved iPhone 5S, I still miss her everyday.

You guys...I really thought this was so aesthetic. I remember taking this and thinking it was going to go viral on Tumblr because of the shirt I was wearing...obviously it didn't. 

I really loved this shirt for some reason. I got it from an online order, but they accidentally sent it to me, so I just kept it. Long sleeve shirts were my absolute favorite during my sophomore year in high school, I have no idea why. It was never really cold where I lived (San Diego), so there was really no need to wear it. 

These shorts were so cute to me because they weren't super tight. They were one of my first H&M purchases -- a store where I thought cool girls shopped -- and I remember my mom thinking they were way too short. 

Uh-oh...heading into 2020 is moving into uncharted waters. This was really when I started trying out other aesthetics that were super trendy on TikTok and Instagram. Although at this point in time I still didn't have Instagram. 

I loved drinking Americanos from Starbucks for some reason -- I literally don't even like the flavor of their espresso on its own -- and I would add a sweetener for some reason. It did not taste good. 

I bought these jeans from an online store based in Asia and I was so worried they weren't going to fit. To my surprise they did, but as soon as I dried them they shrunk about three inches and I couldn't wear them again because they looked ridiculous. 

 I LOVED this cardigan, and I think I got it at the swap meet with my Dad. It had little details of flowers in light brown, and it was super warm. I lost it almost two months after I bought it.

Really starting to kick it into e-girl territory here. I dyed my hair this ridiculous teal color, and it basically stayed permanent in my head for about eight months, until I paid a hair stylist a ridiculous amount of money to get it out of my scalp. 

This shirt was from my dad, who loved Alice in Chains but hated this shirt for some reason. I loved wearing legwarmers with any outfit I possibly could and obviously this was no exception. 

This skirt was something I held onto from middle school. I bought it at Tilly's, which was another store I thought cool girls shopped at. 

These shoes were one of my proudest purchases from Poshmark. They were these darling platform loafer things that had such a thick heel. I thought they were so sassy. One day when I wore them to school, as I was walking to class the sole of one them completely snapped off, and I was unable to repair them. I miss them dearly.

Here's another outfit from 2021, with the hair dye still present and haunting me. This is when we first adopted one of our dogs, Rigby. 

I bought this floral skirt from Old Navy, one of the few places my Mom and I liked to go shopping together (although I must admit I haven't been in the past few years). 

The tank top was just something that was old and in my mom's closet I knew she wouldn't miss if I took. 

I thought this was so incredibly chic and "cottagecore" of me --- looking back at it now I'm not too sure if that's true. 

Doing things like this are so much fun to me, because I think there are little pieces of each moment that contribute to the outfits I still wear today, which is where we are headed next.

DISCLAIMER: I'm picking this back up after taking a few months off. I think even since I started drafting this post my personal style has already evolved into a different vision than what I thought I wanted in November.  Now, we get to move into my favorite part, showing you some of the outfits I've actually wearing recently, because I feel like it's only right for you to see this part of myself that I am particularly proud of. 

Here's an outfit I wore just a few weeks ago: as you can see, there are multiple layers to this outfit that make it seem a little more elevated. Underneath the jacket, I have a layered long sleeve and short sleeve top. 

I also added white tights to contrast the darkness of my skirt and boots combination, and I think it balances the outfit extremely well! I felt very confident walking around in this. 

As you can see, I love taking outfit photos in this mirror. This is essentially a variant of the first outfit, but I wanted to show that there can be a sort of "equation" when it comes to making a nice balanced outfit. You can reuse the same techniques while also adding a touch of uniqueness to it, completely changing the aesthetic of the outfit. 

In this outfit, using a hooded cardigan for the top layering piece gives off a different vibe than the sports jacket I wore i the picture above. These outfits also share a similar color scheme-- actually, most of my closet does honestly-- but it doesn't necessarily matter unless that is the focus you are going for. 

Color is not the first thing that comes into my mind when I am building an outfit in the morning, however, I would like to change that. 

I feel that color is extremely underrated when it comes to outfit creation. Especially right now, a lot of trending aesthetics revolve around the neutral base of navy, black, white and gray. Yes, I fall victim to this trap, but at least I'm aware! So, as a personal goal, I want to make more of an effort to add more color into my outfits in the year of 2026!

Finally, one of my last outfits is one that I wore at least weekly last semester. I simply adore this dress that I thrifted from my hometown store almost five years ago. 

In fact, it's really not even a dress, but definitely an old woman's nightgown, because unless I pin it in the back, it's quite possibly the most shapeless thing I own. Needless to say, it's not flattering unless I pin it, which also means there is usually a bunch of fabric on my back, so I pair it with a jacket. 

Since I wore this green zip-up (which is just another piece of clothing I'm obsessed with for some reason), I decided to wear a dark green tight underneath the dress so it would match the rest. My school bag is also green so this was a major win for me. 

I would like to proudly add that maybe 90% of my closet comes from thrift stores, friends or my mom, which also means sometimes they do not fit the best, and that is ok. 

Alright, well that just about wraps up this post. I really do love posting outfit photos and talking about my thought process, so maybe I will continue this and turn it into a "mini series" of sorts. But who knows, there are lots of things to consider. Until next time, cheers! 

meet me in the bathroom: my thoughts and hopes for the indie rock music scene

Two Christmases ago I asked for a book. This is not my usual behavior, if you know me, as I usually have a list filled anything that would involve using my brain academically in any manner. But, this book particularly piqued my interested because it involved one of my favorite things ever: music. Better than that, it also involved a group of musicians I adored (and also later learned to adore because of the book!)

So, I am here to offer my thoughts on the book overall, and what it did for Rock and Roll representation in America moving forward. 

The book opens with some smaller New York bands that I've never heard of, like Jonathan Fire*Eater. Early passages of the book include some of the grimier details behind the music scene in the late 90s/early 00s, like hard drug usage. 

Here is list of just a few of the musicians mentioned/interviewed in the book:

• LCD Soundsystem
• The Strokes
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• The Killers
• Regina Spektor
• Vampire Weekend
• Interpol
• The Rapture
• The White Stripes
• TV on the Radio
• ...and so many more

So, if you're into any of those artists, I strongly recommend checking out this book! It's really interesting to see the artists' perspective of their situation, how they handled (or didn't) their success and the behind the scenes of creating these influential pieces of music. 

What really popularized rock music was simply the age demographic who was putting money into these bands -- the dotcom boom erupted and allowed young people to get their hands on obscene amounts of money. With nothing to spend it on, they were giving their friends money and eventually correlated to those funds being put into the New York Music Scene.

This was great for those who needed it, but when the dotcom bubble finally burst, it left people stranded: those who dropped out of school or quit their jobs to focus on side projects were now forced to return to the corporate hell they desperately sought to escape. 

The beginnings of this book show a lot of parallels to our world now: young people are worried about the security of our future, job prospects aren't looking great and the world around us seems like it's only getting worse by the day. All that is communicated to us now is that our country (the U.S.) is more divided now than ever, and how we are the ones that are destined to fix it. Truthfully, it's exhausting.

Basically the entire time I was reading the book, I couldn't help but feel like art, especially art in forms of physical creation, is expiring in front of our eyes. No one has time to create anymore because we are all too focus on making ends meet or figuring out where the next meal is coming from. 

Also, I have a slightly unpopular side tangent: smoking culture needs a revival. This might be a shallow take, and I want to develop this even further, but I feel like the conversations, thoughts and ideas that come from those who have time to take a moment and reflect...which can be done in the span of time it takes to smoke a cigarette. 

On top of this, no one is staying up late maniacally smoking and creating art because there are more addictive things to be doing, like scrolling on your phone. It's hard to break this cycle when there are so many distractions going on at the same time. 

Moving back to the book, Lizzy Goodman, the author, does a fabulous job of communicating the glamour that comes with the lifestyle of rock and roll musicians while simultaneously showing the horrors that counteract: drug addiction and irreparable conflicts with the people closest to you are just scraping the top of the iceberg that the novel dives into. 

It makes you have FOMO for a time period; you had to be there to enjoy it. 

In current music trends, I can see an attempt to bring this sort of spirit back into underground music, and needless to say, I am thrilled. Our culture has seen a significant shift to structure and security, and while I obviously don't think it's necessarily bad for that shift to occur, I still think we are losing some carefree, fuck-it energy that the 2000s had.

Not to say that all is lost, though. Big cities are doing their heavy-lifting, hosting shows with smaller artists, but smaller cities, like the one I'm currently in, need to see a revival as well. There's a sense of community that comes together when a group of people is united through live music, and I want to be a part of it! 

Anyway, I don't think I can talk anymore about the book because I want you to read it if you're interested. That's all I have to say for now, until next time, cheers! 

little video

 I made a small video for a class I'm in, but I quite like it and I want to share it here too! The song is Duk Koo Kim by Sun Kil Moon, one of my favorite songs of all time! I hope you like it. 

new year same life

 Hello all, it's been so long since I've last seen you! I thought I would engage with this blog a bit more over my winter break, but honestly, I was just not motivated at all! 

I had a pretty rough winter break in terms of my family, someone close to me has passed and I think it's the first time I've really truly struggled with a loss. I had another relative die, but I was too mentally young to process it. 

I returned back to my college town and was greeted with the same bitter cold I reluctantly abandoned about a month ago. It's not even that I missed it, but that I longed for it when the southern air became too thick with salty ocean air for my tired lungs.

Something takes it out of me when I go home to southern California. I feel like I become a completely different version of myself, slipping away from my grounded soul in northern California.

The funny thing is, too, is that I don't even necessarily love northern California or what is in it. I simply long for the life I have built on my own the the constituents who take part in it. I miss my friends. I miss my apartment which houses those friends when I want to have a party. I miss the city that takes place in. 

Even though I haven't done much since I returned, there is a particular weight that gets lifted up from my chest when I am away from my previous life. Like I have no responsibility, like I don't owe anyone anything. 

School feels like a drag this semester. I don't feel like I am going to love my classes like I did last semester, and that's ok. It just makes my miniscule motivation levels dwindle even more. There's even a class I have that only allows two (2) absences for the whole semester! This is horrible news for someone like me, who loves to miss out on a class every once in a while (at least five times per semester).

It truly isn't a problem for me, though. I can still keep up with the class while not necessarily taking part in the in-person events of it. I don't think that will pass as an explanation to my professors, but it's worth pleading a case to you. 

Other than school, the only thing consuming my life right now is reality television! This is so funny for someone like me, because I never watched reality TV until this year. The show that got me hooked was none other than The Traitors, a Peacock original. 

If you don't know the plot of the show, essentially a bunch of reality TV (and other famous adjacent people) gather in a mansion in the Scottish countryside, hosted by Alan Cumming, and they all must indulge in a murderous survival game. A grand prize is earned throughout the show through missions, and the contestants must figure out who the traitors are if they want to win the prize. It's truly such a good premise, and people are willing to get nasty with each other it's really shocking.

My friends and I watched season three in less than five days. We just loved all of the people they had on: Dylan Efron (yes), BOSTON ROB!!, Bob the Drag Queen, etc.  All of them were just fabulous in the show. 

Don't even get me started on the cast of season four...ROB RAUSCH, Lisa Rinna, Tara Lipinski?! I can't wait to catch up with the season. 

Reality TV makes me feel like I learn about people's thought processes. I see their decisions being made based on relationships they have and the ones they don't. I'd like to believe my empathy grows with each episode I consume, even if that isn't entirely true. 

This year I feel a lot of change is going to spring up in my life. I'm excited, but I'm also nervous. I want to see what the world is going to offer me, and I plan on accepting it with an open embrace. 

Obviously my intentions remain pure to upload more on this blog, but I don't want to stay too firm in case I break my promise yet again. Until next time, cheers! 

one year anniversary!

Hey everyone, it's been a while! 

It's officially been one year since I started this blog, and I can't believe it's been that long. I will say even though it's been a year, I've really only been active on here for like six months. 

Things have changed in my life, most definitely. I thought I would post some highlights of the past year and share some of my favorite memories! 

I met the sweetest cat in my neighborhood, I think she was a kitten when I first met her. She was just so sweet and made me think about how special her features were! Siamese colors are my soft spot in cats, and she was quite literally that. 

This was taken in January of this year, when I was feeling pretty down about myself. I found a lot of solace in visiting these stray cats when I needed some time to myself, it was very therapeutic

. 

This photo was taken by my beautiful best friend, Megan. She took a photography class, and got really into taking photos wherever we journeyed to. 

I go to school in Northern California, and I feel like I am always blown away by how beautiful it is. This is literally just off the side of the road. 

I remember thinking this photo was one of my favorites of myself. I just feel like I look like a nomad, so different to the person I actually am. This was also taken in January, but I just had to include this because it's just too good! 

At this point, I decided I needed to do more in my community, because I was feeling pretty isolated and lonely. This is the first time I lived away from home, and I was unsure of my surroundings. 

This is a photo of our dear friend, BW, the apartment complex cat. We have a complicated relationship with her, starting with the name we bestowed upon her: She is simply called BW because it stands for Bitch Warlock. She's honestly evil sometimes, it's so confusing.

Coincidentally, the name is a double entendre because she also looks like a bat, hence why she could also be called Batwoman (BW). 

Basically every time we sit out on our balcony, she'll pay us a visit -- some happier than others. She's really sweet when she wants to be, but when she's mean she's mean...such a complex girl. 

Wow, moving into April it was so hard for me to choose a picture to describe it. This is really when things start turning around, and I'm starting to feel more secure about living up here. 

At this point, I've finally made some good friends, and I'm spending much more time on campus. 

This baby goat was some sort of therapy goat, not sure why but my friends and I all had an opportunity to hold one and we couldn't pass that up. Spring is so beautiful here.

Surprise! We went to California's capitol building. This is right after spring semester ended, and one of our best friends from home came to visit us! We also ended up going to San Francisco, which you will also be seeing a photo from. 

Sacramento was honestly so beautiful, but it felt so empty and, dare I say, almost soulless. It felt like a ghost town -- the streets were completely emptied and basically every corner. Almost a little eerie. 

This is my San Francisco photo, mostly because I don't have as many as I may have initially thought. I've been many times before, but I had never visited the Painted Ladies until this trip! 

One of our dear friends lives in SF, and she very graciously lets us stay at her house when we come to visit. We've also had the best gluten free fried chicken here, just so good. 

I always have such a fun time when I'm here, I feel like such a city girl! I would love to go back soon. 

Moving into the summer, I went back home to spend it with my family and friends. Almost all of our friends went home for the summer too, and the weather can get extremely hot where I go to school. I'd rather not deal with that mess.

I taught myself how to play the drums this summer because I felt like I needed a hobby, and because I mainly just find them to be so fascinating. 

My dad also plays the bass, and I was able to play some songs with a real band -- even if they were a bunch of dads, I didn't mind. I also (reluctantly) got a job at a cafe, making coffee and selling pastries and whatnot...it was fine.

I also turned 21 (yay!!) and spent a lot of time outdoors. My best friend turned 22, and we partied hard, naturally. I'm just kidding, we're really not the partying type, but it was still a great time. 

Moving into September, we're back in school and back with our lovely friends. To celebrate, we decided to make paper portraits of ourselves (maybe not realistic, but more of an artistic representation). 

And let me tell you, I had such a fun time doing this. Every time I look at photos like this, I'm just reminded of how wonderful of friends I have, and how lucky I am to have found them. 

My first semester in college was really hard for me, mainly because I just wasn't putting myself out there in social situations and then I was wondering why I was feeling so depressed and lonely. I'm also naturally very introverted, which definitely didn't play to my advantage

That brings us to right now, November 2025! I'm really grateful for everything that has happened this semester, even when there has been hardships.

I've tried my best to expand my circle, which is working. 

Finally being surrounded with people who care about me is something I do not plan on taking for granted. 

That pretty much sums it up for me right now, but I hope this post was able to bring some context into the year I've been having. See you very soon, hopefully. Until next time, cheers! 

seasonal depression and cyclical damage to the soul

 School is officially swinging for me, and it probably is for you, too. Whenever the aching routine of my class schedule dulls my senses, I start to find myself slipping into these strange pockets of sadness and stagnation. 

Instead of holding on to these feelings -- as I have unsuccessfully done every year -- I want to be ahead of the curve this year. However, it's starting to happen and I can feel the sinking of the quicksand slowly start to fill up my shoes, inevitably weighing my body down into the muck. 

Autumn is my favorite season where I go to college, because the towering, sprawling green trees start to lose their elegant leaves, the air is crisp and the unforgiving sun starts to shrink behind landscapes of clouds in the sky. 

How troubling it is to have this seesaw of loving everything that is happening around me, yet internally feeling  the worst I've felt all year. Simply put, I think this is the time of year that my friends and I can collectively agree how much we love and hate it. 

A classic sign of this cyclical harm is when I overeat, over-indulge in the things I love or basically any form of greed (or gluttony, I guess it could be either). I know it is happening, and even though I want to stop, there is something in me that keeps going despite my brain fighting against it. I suppose this is going to be much personal than I initially thought. 

I also feel pretty distant from almost everyone in my life. I have been struggling to connect and engage with those around me. 

This is not supposed to be an entry where I complain about how "terrible" my life is, so I'm done complaining about these miniscule things. 

Basically, this is a post that hopefully will hold me to some standards (please) for the rest of this season...maybe I can even check in later to see how I'm holding up -- though I don't want to commit to this yet because sadly I tend to forget about this website every now and then. 

Here are the essentials, in list form:

• Going on a walk for at least 30 minutes a day
• Smoking less
• I'd like to add that I mean shorter smoking sessions -- mindfulness
• Eating more fruits and vegetables 
• I never would have thought this would be a problem for me, yet here I am
• Not going on social media when I think I have nothing to do 
• Read a book
• Take more photos of what I see

I definitely believe this list will be ongoing until I am satisfied, and when I (hopefully!!) do I check in at the end of this year, I will show you what has been added to the list, and maybe what has been removed (though I really doubt anything is going to be removed from this list). 

Well, that's all I have to add for now! Until next time, cheers!

what really makes a summer great

Hello, again. 

Slowly but surely am I working through a routine of writing regularly on here. Hoorah! What better way to get into writing again than talking about myself and my summertime habits.

Upon coming home, I was greeted by my family warmly, then quickly thrown out into the cold again, tasked with finding a job for the summer. Obviously, I'm exaggerating here. Getting a job is not the end of the world, even when you're a privileged college girl like me. 

 Nevertheless, I got a job at a local restaurant and worked frequently throughout the summer. Almost to a point where I felt like there was no time to enjoy anything else! Sorely mistaken, I was. 

This summer I must confess that I
developed some addictions I'm not proud of, and maybe some that I am proud of. Here's the short list:

1. Music, again (see my last post about AnCo)
2. Playing the drums
3. Smoking weed (uh oh)
   
4. Laying in patches of grass

Not as long of a list as I thought, but I think it's good enough. Yes, these four things are quite literally the only things that consumed my precious three months of me time. 

This summer felt very pivotal in my life. I had a lot of little moments that I was able to actually savor, remember and recall often. This summer was also a moment in my life where I actually felt comfortable in my skin for the first time in a while. 

I am naturally a person who is very self-conscious which can quickly turn into self-obsession if I am not careful. For a while, it felt like I was never able to fully enjoy myself because I was so worried about what people would think about me based on my actions or looks. It was hard to be able to recognize this intense fog of judgement and worry that circled me.

Freeing is the only way I can describe the way this summer felt. Feelings that were absolutely rooted deep within my inner self were practically crawling out of my mouth -- things that I never knew I felt about myself, my family, my friends and total strangers. 

Personally, I was shocked with myself. Like, wow, I really am a person who is capable of having naturally complex thoughts! I didn't have to have someone tell me what my opinion on an issue has to be (another part of a self-conscious person is following what everyone else thinks to fit in). And admittedly, yes, I was like this until recently. 

It's ok to feel this way, if you feel like this sometimes. Obviously, why would I be talking about it if it wasn't!

But I guess introspection isn't the only thing I did this summer. It is a privilege to see the things I see on a regular basis, especially being from southern California. I went to Catalina Island this summer, which is known for it's incredible nature preserve. 

The preserve contains animals like buffalo, who were brought to the island for a movie filming, and never left. Even though they were introduced to the island by humans, they actually serve a purpose for the island's ecosystem--something I learned on a tour I took with my family. 

We ended up getting super close to one of the buffalo, as it was on the trail that the tour goes on. Something always ignites in me when I see creatures of this size. I am simply reminded we are not the most incredible or magnificent creature this world has to offer. We are just a lucky coincidence.

Catalina's ocean was so clear, it made me almost forget that I live right next to one, too! It felt almost exotic, like we were somewhere halfway around the world. 

The streets were lined with homes and businesses in a way that felt European--buildings were almost stacked on top of each other, pieces of each spilling over into the next. The town itself is very small, only taking up about 15 or 20 percent of the island, so they need to use their space wisely. 

There's not much else to say about that trip except the fact that I had to get insanely stoned to make it on the treacherous voyage that would be taking the one hour ferry to the mainland. I had to do this because on the way there, I aggressively threw up over the side of the boat three times, where every single person on the boat could see. Definitely wanted to avoid that kind of attention the second time around. 

Even though this summer was filled with great moments spent with family and friends doing the things I love, I really have no other takeaway from this season than how my path of thinking has greatly changed, yet opened my eyes. 

That's about all I have for this post, until next time. Cheers!

animal collective animal collective animal collective animal collective animal collective animal collective animal collective animal collective

 Hi, long time no talk. It's been a while and for that I am more than sorry. I spent the summer well -- working, turning 21 and smoking admittedly more than I should have. 

This has also been a great summer for my music discovery journey. What better way to talk about my summer than through the eyes of Animal Collective, arguably one of the most important bands in my life at the moment. 

Animal Collective is hard to pin down on a musical genre front. I feel like their music is transcendent beyond the menial categories we assign to music nowadays. But, if I had to pick, I suppose I would say experimental pop. 

The group is made up of four childhood friends, who all shared an intense passion for eclectic musical genres growing up. They all have their own stage names, Avey Tare (Dave Portner), Panda Bear (Noah Lennox), Geologist (Brian Weitz) and Deakin (Josh Dibb). Now, the group is in their 40s and are still creating groovy, strange music together around the world. 

They all also make solo music under their stage names, but I think that has to be a different post entry because I won't be able to stop talking if I get into it now!

Oh yeah, you should also note that the band's lineup changes with every new album, depending on who's available to contribute. 

I first found out about the band through their most coveted album, Merriweather Post Pavilion, which also contains their biggest song, My Girls. It was a still, summer day when I decided to sit down and listen to the album in full, and once I did, I was never able to go back.

This album is fantastic. I don't know how much more I can say about it except for that after listening for the first time, it was immediately moved up to my top albums of all time. This album also only features three out of four members: Avey Tare, Panda Bear and Geologist. 

Songs like Also Frightened have a unique time measure that kept me on my toes the first time I listened to it. Another song that resembles this time style is Lion in a Coma, one of my favorite songs on the record. It feels so carefree and joyous, almost what it feels like to be high with your friends for the first time. 

Summertime Clothes easily takes the cake for one of the best songs on the album. Night walks, sweating through your clothes, hair sticking to your neck -- these all remind me of summertime feelings that maybe aren't usually thought of when we romanticize the season. However, even though these unpleasant feelings are brought to us in this song, it almost makes me want to experience those things so I can feel the way they felt when they wrote this song. 

Brother Sport is the last song on the album, and I seriously don't know if there could've been a better way to end this record than with this song. It's high in energy, almost to the point where you feel like you're entranced when listening because of how much sound is being funneled into your ears all at once. 

It felt like my entire mind was consumed by this band. Nothing could quench the thirst my ears had for their music. Even though this feeling began in July, I seriously have not stopped listening to them since and it's the beginning of September. If I'm listening to music right now, I'm listening to Animal Collective. 

Their discography is vast, and every single project feels like something completely different. I am certain there is an Animal Collective song for any exceptional situation you are going to be put in when listening to the music. 

After listening to MPP, I felt like I would be doing the band a disservice if I didn't listen to their other projects. I immediately dove in to Strawberry Jam, one of their most critically acclaimed projects, and I could see why.

The sound is drastically different, but still has the charm the band is able to effortlessly carry with them at all times. It's abrasive at times, yet it is incredibly gentle and forgiving. There are epic build ups in the album that have incredibly rewarding payoffs, like those of Fireworks and For Reverend Green. 

After, I moved onto their record, Feels, which is also renowned in the listening community for being one of their very prestigious projects. 

This record feels like a happy medium in between their maximalist, synth-based sound that is prevalent in MPP, but also strips some acoustic sounds from their earlier work such as Sung Tongs. This record has a few songs that I really cling to: Grass, The Purple Bottle and Banshee Beat. 

Yes, this entire album is remarkable, but these three songs are so special to me that I feel like I have no choice but to talk about them.

These three songs explain the core of Animal Collective to me. Very free-spirited yet technical, very lyrical yet vocally harsh at times. They are a band that never forgets to utilize one of the most psychedelic instruments of all, our voices. 

Something that sticks out to me more than anything in their music is how often they experiment with their vocal melodies. Avey Tare and Panda Bear's vocals mesh  miraculously well, to the point where they will layer their voices over each other and I won't even notice until the second time I listen to the song.

Right now in this moment, my favorite song by them is Leaf House, a song of the record Sung Tongs. 

Well, that's all I have to offer right now, and I hope this might convince you to give them a try the next time you want to experience something larger than life! Maybe an exaggeration, but it really is that serious for me. Until next time, cheers!

adults was a good show

This summer, it seems like all of the young adult, coming of age shows are hitting streaming services with the release of Overcompensating and FX's new comedy, Adults. And I suppose they've reached their target audience because I watched both of these shows within three days. 

There was a moment in time where sitcoms were falling off (in my opinion) because they simply weren't funny. I think there is a serious disconnect between Millennial and Gen Z humor, and the gap is only widening over time.

Just yesterday my mom was showing me something on her phone that she thought was hilarious and it didn't get a single laugh out of me. And that's not to say my mom has a bad sense of humor, because she has a good one. It's just that the content we consume is vastly different, and we are bound to find different things funny. 

Arguably, there's nothing wrong with this. That's the beauty of TV and I guess streaming nowadays: there is something for everyone to enjoy. 

Adults is made for the adult Gen Z crowd. This show DELIVERS, when it comes to Gen Z realness; there's just too many jokes that I feel like would be made in a friend group of my own. It's also charming because it touches on serious issues without even making it obvious:

• The entire friend group lives in Samir's parents' house because none of them can afford to live on their own in New York (sound familiar)
• Spoiler alert! There's an entire episode about immigration and expired visas where they are left with the only option...marriage
• A medical emergency leaves one of the characters swamped in debt, where she has no choice but to call and try to convince them to lower the cost, which they do.
• Dating struggles within the Gen Z pool --> Billie dates an older man (also her old teacher, and he ends up being a hot fucking mess), Samir finds it hard to commit to anyone and Anton is going through a severe dry spell (also sounds a little too familiar).
• Abortion struggles: the gang hosts a young woman who is getting an abortion, requiring her to travel out of state in order to get one

All of these issues are very real, and having a show address them in a way that doesn't seem overbearing is somewhat refreshing in comparison to a lot of other attempts to bring awareness to them. 

Yes, this is a comedy, so it probably wouldn't take a super deep dive into political issues, but really there is no choice but to write these into shows that depict social realism, because it is what we are going through today.

Needless to say, I hope the show gets renewed for another season, even though FX nor Hulu has announced that they're bringing it back. I mean, how could they not? They left the show on such a good cliffhanger I need to find out what happens next.

If you have Hulu, I encourage you to give it a chance, I need people to watch it so Hulu will give them another season! Anyway, that's all I have for you today. Until next time, cheers.

watching overcompensating

Whenever a show comes out about the college experience, I feel like I have to watch it to compare it to my own life. As someone who didn't have a traditional high school nor college experience, whenever these obscenely raunchy and wild shows throw me off. 

I am entering my fourth year of college, and while yes, I have had some crazy days (and nights), it never seems the same as how it actually goes during these trying times. 

Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy the how, and I've almost watched the entire show in one day (currently on episode 6/8, and I don't know what I'm gonna do when it's over). I also didn't have the classic freshman in college experience. I went to community college for my first two years, and no one is getting wet and wild at community college. 

There's nothing wrong with this path either: some people are just going to college to get in and out, and that's fine. But I would never be able to imagine myself getting completely shitfaced off of two 40s and five pot brownies just to end up in an ambulance with cut up hands from shattered glass because I forgot I was playing Edward 40hands.

I'm not even twenty one years old, yet I'm still stuck wondering if I am missing out on something that seemingly everyone else went through. 

It doesn't bother me that I'm missing out, but I am genuinely curious what has changed in the past few years to make it seem like no one is partying as hard as they used to, maybe for better or for worse. 

This is also why I think there is such an appeal to early 2000s/2010s aesthetics that revolve around a messy but chic party girl. Indie sleaze, McBling and Tumblr aesthetics are making the rounds again, all which romanticize aspects of living life the messy way: day old eyeliner smudged under your eyes, wearing patterns layered over each other and constantly running late for every single errand in your life. 

Yeah, this doesn't fly in 2025. There's simply no time for something like this to flourish the way it is. That is, unless we fully enter an economic recession...then maybe we really can turn back to the ancient scriptures. 

It honestly scares me to think about the future of the job market and how we as a generation are going to make it in the real world. It only seems like things are getting worse for upcoming college graduates (yay!!)

All of this ranting just to get completely distracted from the original reason I wanted to write this: Overcompensating! This show is good, but not in the way I would expect. It's real, raw and it doesn't feel like the writer didn't go to college and is trying to imagine what it's about. 

I am looking forward to finishing the show, and maybe I'll even write an update about it when I'm finished. Until next time, cheers!

took a trip to san francisco

 As summer began and school finally came to a close, my roommate and our close friend decided to travel from college to San Francisco. Only about a few hours away from where we lived, we made the journey by car. 

There are times when San Francisco feels lie the best place on Earth: there's so much culture (very different from where I go to college), everyone dresses nice and chances are there is always something beautifully created around you whether its the art or architecture. 

One of our other good friends goes to school in the city, so we're able to stay with her--no expensive hotels for three broke college students! 

I've been there a few times, but this year I've been twice. This time I felt much more familiar with my surroundings, and actually started to feel like I belonged in the city--a wonderful feeling. Here is the list of things we HAVE to see when were in the city:

• 
  Palace of Fine Arts
• The Marina
• Golden Gate Park
• Haight and Ashbury 
• Amoeba Records
• Roommates Vintage
• Dumpling Baby Restaurant
• The Game Parlour
• Anywhere that has a photobooth
• Thrift stores here and there
• Good matcha/coffee --> usually in Japantown

Besides that, whatever catches our eye is where we'll go. The last time we visited, I ended up winning a pair of free concert tickets to see George Clanton, but was unable to make it to the scheduled time. It honestly felt like a call to the world that I was supposed to be there in that moment. 

San Francisco is also home to the wonderful Outside Lands festival, something that I would love to attend this year if it pans out. A lot of artists performing are musicians I like, which is kind of rare for me these days. 

At Amoeba Records, I purchased my favorite Aphex Twin album, "Selected Ambient Works 85-92." I also found a Sigur Ros CD for only a few dollars, so I snagged that. The last time I went I was also able to get another Aphex Twin CD, as well as one of my favorite albums of all time, Massive Attack's "Mezzanine", which features songs with Cocteau Twins' singer Elizabeth Fraser. Every time I step in that store I expect to find greatness, and I haven't been let down yet!

The two restaurants I listed, Dumpling Baby and The Game Parlour both offer gluten free fried chicken--both of my friends who visited with me are gluten intolerant, so this is always a must! The Game Parlour has fabulous mochiko chicken, which is what makes it crispy, while Dumpling Baby has a sweet-tasting honey-based sauce, which is unique to other common chicken sauces like orange or teriyaki. 

Anyway, I hope that I go back to the city as many times as I can before I inevitably don't live as close to it as I do right now. Knowing me, I probably will because once I get a taste of something like San Francisco, I just can't stay away. 

That about wraps it up for me, until next time, cheers!

new alex g album coming out

 It's a big day for annoying people (me), since Alex G announced his upcoming tenth album, "Headlights." He's also released a new single (listed below), titled "Afterlife", which takes on an upbeat almost joyous sound that is not typical when it comes to his previous music. 

This will be my first time being able to live react to an Alex G album, as I was not as much of an intense, obnoxious fan as I am today. A tracklist was also revealed, which is also different from usual song titles. Basically the only thing that's changed is that the song titles are longer, boohoo.

I really like the style of his music, and I'm not sure what it is that makes it so special to me. I feel like it sounds so personal, when in reality, it isn't. Alex has stated multiple times that almost all of his music is not autobiographical, except for a song titled "Hope" on his album "House of Sugar", which just makes it even more heartbreaking when you listen to it. 

There are always artists that people connect to very deeply, and I think he is one of them for me. I think there's only one song I don't like by him, which I don't even want to go into detail about. That's surprising for a music listener like me, who tends to be very critical of an artist's overall discography. 

When the album comes out on July 17th, I'll aim to review it here as fast as I can (hopefully). But by then I will have a job (MUST happen), be 21 years old and maybe picked up a new skill. All things I am to do within the next month and a half. 

But that's all I have today, until next time, cheers!

a summer list

 A simple post has to be done today. I want to make a list of things I want to do before summer is over, and actually try to stay true to my word this time. Here it is:

1. Make some money so I don't have to work while I'm at school

2. Go out with my friends to new places

3. Swim in the saltwater

4. Create art in different forms

5. Talk to people I usually wouldn't

6. Put myself in uncomfortable situations

7. Listen to new music

8. Try not to spend a lot of money

9. Spend time with my family

10. Have fun!!

I don't want to set unrealistic expectations for myself, because I want to be able to accomplish everything on my list without realizing. I know it's possible. 

That's all I have for this post, thanks for checking it out. If you feel inspired I encourage you to make your own summer list, or maybe just a 2025 list...it's never too late! We've still got six months until this year wraps up. 

Until next time, cheers. 

bassvictim might be the next big thing

 Hi everyone, hope you're doing well. I thought I would talk about a musical group I've been listening to.     

It's not uncommon for me to get really obsessed with a specific musician. This might be no different, but the duo Bassvictim have been on my radar for a few months now. In music that combines elements from electronic, punk, indie sleaze, they've crafted music that is quite literally perfect for the revival we are seeing in electronic music right now. 

Bassvictim is made of Ike Clateman and Maria Manow. The two met at a show in Berlin, and initially didn't get along well with each other. 

However, when they ran into each other months later in London, they decided to collaborate and start making music together. They are now based out of London. Clateman also has a solo project under the name RIP wowaka.

I think what makes their music so good is that it is a modern take on some of the music that was coming out twenty, thirty years ago. In fact, they even made a name for their music genre: Basspunk. 

Basspunk is also the name of their first EP. My favorites from this album are "I Like It", "Canary Wharf Drift" and "As Long As."

Their other music projects also prove to be strong. Their most recent release, Basspunk 2, features a collection of upbeat, loud songs that give the listener no choice but to bop their head to the beat. My personal favorites off this album are "With You", "Makes You Wonder" and "Wooden Girl." 

Something about finding an artist that can show consistency in the production of quality music makes me so much more likely to be a fan of them. It's also just nice to see younger artists creating new music, new genres, mixing things together that seem unconventional.

I think nowadays it can get easy to fall into the trap of doing what everyone else is doing--even though we're supposed to live in the country that strives off individualism--and it becomes a toxic, harmful environment for creating what could possibly be the next big thing. 

On top of that, it's almost impossible to break into the music industry, so supporting independent artists who actually enjoy making music and trusting that process is crucial. 

In a short but sweet post, I am going to wrap it up here. You should check out Bassvictim if you like electronic music. And if you don't, maybe you should give them a listen anyway. Until next time, cheers! 

it's time for a messy summer

 Long time no see, everyone. It's me, of course. I wanted to come here today to talk about a desire to revert back to those messy, trashy girls you saw in the 2000s and 2010s--especially on Tumblr and Pinterest. Something about this lifestyle is aligning with my spirit, which I guess is good since it'll be summer, arguably the best time for this kind of behavior. 

I should also note this not normal activity for me. I am someone who is typically reserved, would rather stay home on the weekends. But now the fact is things are finally going to be available to me. I can engage with the city in ways I was never able to: through bars and clubs. 

This lifestyle always had some kind of charm. A girl who is barely able to pay her rent somehow also is magically able to get into the best clubs in her big city. Yeah, that would be the dream life but is that even realistic? I'll give you the short answer and say no, it's not. 

I think a lot of my influences right now obtain that untouchable party vibe that I so desperately want to copy. 

Speaking of, right now I love Ca7riel and Paco Amoroso, Charli XCX, Sophie and this one Jane Remover song. All of my influences are music right now--I just feel like I am hitting the jackpot!! I love when I go through new music phases in my life. 

I wish I was reading more--messy girls still read--but I've just been so busy with everything else. It's been tough for me to balance work and play recently, but I think it's just because there are so many moving facets of my life: school, friends, extracurriculars, and I still feel like I'm not doing enough for myself. It's easy to get lost in the stress of feeling not good enough, but I'm trying to be kinder to myself this time around when it comes to school. 

My mood has been extremely creative lately, but I feel like I'm not even creating anything. Sometimes my creativity converts into productivity when I wish it wouldn't. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a creative bone in my body, like I'm just meant to compute equations into a computer. I'm glad that's not what I feel right now. 

I want to find ways to revamp this blog, but I guess before I do that, maybe I should start posting regularly on here, right?

It seems like we got completely lost off track and I gave you a life update instead of talking about my summer plans. School is out in almost three weeks you know? That's so weird to think about, I feel like this semester just started! 

Summer is going to be dirty, messy, trashy, whatever you want to call it, but I'm telling you right now. I'm tired of all of these clean girl aesthetics, I want the messy girls to rise up! I'm waiting for you, let's march together. That's all I got for now, see you next time! 

this past week

 It's been a pleasant first week back in my college town. This surprised me because when I went home for winter break, I left with a certain resentment for the place. My best friend (and roommate) have been working on our apartment to create a space we both feel comfortable in. Our living room is beautiful when I think about it.

Pinterest inspo

Last semester was especially tough on both of us, so we mutually agreed to improve ourselves and our surroundings, hence the apartment makeover. 

 Even though we've only had class for a few days, school is already looking better for me. I changed my major to a much more writing-focused option (journalism). I find it to be very well-suited for me. My best friend also changed her major to an artistic one. I think it suits her just fine, but I am not her, so I don't know what she truly thinks about it. 

This past weekend we decided to go thrifting in the neighboring cities. When I say this, you probably expect them to be under an hour away, and unfortunately, that is only true for one of them. 

Our living room!

If you don't know, I live in northern California and currently attend Chico State. If you know anything about Chico, is that it is pretty much in the middle of nowhere. At least when you are speaking about California. It has a lot of trees and that is the part I love most about it. I am from southern California. It is routine to see palm trees, which is a shame for me because I have grown to be apathetic towards them. Sometimes I wish I wasn't. 

Chico has two towns that are relatively close to it: Oroville and Red Bluff. These are the two that can be reached in under an hour by car. These are both kind of weird towns. That's the only way I can really describe them. 

If you keep going north past Red Bluff, you end up in Redding, which is a city that is much more recognizable. If you keep going south past Oroville, you end up in Sacramento. On Friday, we slowly made our way to Redding, checking out thrift stores on the way up, and looking for nice wall decor for our house. We got a few things, a mosaic mirror and a nice fan to hang up. 

On Saturday, we ended up in a place called Yuba City, after heading to Oroville. Yuba City is the biggest city besides Chico around here, so they have all of the fun stores that we like. We also ended up going to lots of thrift stores in this area. 

Most of the roads that you have to drive on to get to other towns are sandwiched between farms and orchards with trees that are in uniform lines. In between the bundles of trees sometimes there are open patches of long, unmanicured grass. These are the best parts of these roads. 

Most days, there is a slight wind that makes the grass dance in front of you. Saturday was no different. The grass made intricate hair-like patterns, which persuaded us to pull over and take some pictures standing on it. These ended up coming out nicely, even on our phones, which usually is not the case for us. 

Lots of poor choices were made regarding our outfits. It was cold but for some reason, we decided to dress like it was a nice late spring morning in April. Realistically it was a blustery January afternoon that quickly turned into a dark, dry evening. 

This weekend has greatly changed my opinion of this city and its surroundings. I always found it beautiful, but for the first time, I can actually see myself living in it, cherishing everything it has to offer. That's all I have for now, until next time. Cheers!

falling behind and feeling guilty talking about myself

 I was trying to write my about me section for this blog, when I suddenly started to go off a strange tangent about struggling to feel like I belong in my subset of peers. These first few paragraphs are what I wrote before I decided I must make this a separate post, to not take away from the simple about me page. 

I spend a lot of my free time thinking about possible lives I could be living. I always wonder what my future looks like. I don't know if that is part of how things are always supposed to go (why do I never try to live in the moment?) or if it'll pass (Fleabag reference). However, I will say that the times I spend fantasizing are the times that life feels the most fun to live. Do even the most successful people do this when they feel their own life is too mundane to live without letting their minds wander? I don't know. 

This was intended to be more of an introduction and it turned into something completely different. That is my fault, and I accept responsibility for that end. 

Obviously, I use this blog to write about pop culture that interests me, whether it is relevant or not (most of the time it really isn't), but I at least try to make it seem a little more interesting to someone who is not me. I also find that most people living my life are doing much more than I am, and I keep trying to remind myself that they probably really aren't and that I should just get over myself. 

Oftentimes when I write things like this, they come off as self-serving and pitiful, rather than just being forward about my feelings. Like the paragraph above, when I write 'people my age are doing much better than I am' what I really mean is 'people my age are doing normal people shit and I am sitting on the couch waiting for my TV to get connected to the internet again so I can simultaneously watch a movie and write this blog'. It's not glamorous. It's not pitiful either. It's just the off days when there isn't some crazy event to look forward to. And that's okay. 

I have a hard time talking about myself, even to my closest friends. Honestly, I would much rather hear what they want to say (about themselves, me, or whatever they want). The real reason is that I never know how I properly wish to articulate my thoughts. 

Even just now I was looking at the Grammarly tone suggestions, and that even told me that I was being assertive! I don't think I want my blog to sound assertive. I don't know if I've ever tried to make myself sound assertive in any of these posts. 

But the real thing I want to get into is why is it so difficult to acknowledge your own accomplishments? Am I an outlier when I feel weird mentioning something I've done well at, or does everyone feel the same?  Why do we feel like we are being self-centered when we are talking about our own feats? 

I am curious to find out if others feel the same way. Or if I'm just being weird. That's all I have for you today. Until next time, cheers!

the perfection of indie sleaze

 Maybe this is a biased post. It most likely is, and for that, I am going to apologize in advance. But, I feel like there is a small but growing community brewing within the depths of social media about an indie sleaze revival within the next few years. This particular statement is confusing to me because I feel like it hasn't even been that long since we were idolizing figures like Sky Ferreira (who is coincidentally releasing an album this year). However, trends in today's age change so quickly now that it only seems right that we circle back to the monumental late 2000s - early 2010s for pop culture consumption. 

There are tons of reasons why this kind of aesthetic was able to flourish. The economic recession greatly influenced media, especially music and fashion. On top of that, we were entering a new decade, social media was just truly starting to take off and turn into what it is today, and because of this, people started to idolize artists and honestly just random people who fit this mold. 

Tumblr was huge at the time, known for being a real "no filter" social media platform that broadcasted things like eating disorders and borderline (sometimes just flat-out) pornography. At this moment in time, I was still pretty young (I was about 10 or 11 when I first made my Tumblr account in 2015), but figures in the Indie Sleaze space were still prominent. 

By the way, when I talk about this music genre, I immediately think of LCD Soundsystem, MGMT, Justice, Vampire Weekend, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I also feel like this opened the door for loads of independent bands to start publishing their music. I'm not saying that they paved the way for this, but I definitely see some influence. 

We can not talk about the revival without mentioning Charli XCX, who I feel singlehandedly brought back the aesthetic with Brat. We're also all tired of talking about this goddamn album, sure, but I had to mention it. Within her circle, people like The Dare are also working to remind people of this style of music. 

The reason I say that this post is biased is because I am a huge fan of this aesthetic as a whole. I would say this is my favorite kind of mainstream music at the moment, and I hope it sees the light of day again so I can actually live through it!! I also see huge potential for this to make a comeback because everyone is tired of these 'clean girl' aesthetics. Indie Sleaze is messy, imperfect, trashy, whatever you want to call it but that's what makes it so chic, in my opinion. 

Anyway, this practically sums it up-- will Indie Sleaze actually make a comeback or is it going to stay a small subset forever? I guess we will have to check back in at the end of the year and see. That's all I have to offer today, until next time. Cheers!