what really makes a summer great

Hello, again. 

Slowly but surely am I working through a routine of writing regularly on here. Hoorah! What better way to get into writing again than talking about myself and my summertime habits.

Upon coming home, I was greeted by my family warmly, then quickly thrown out into the cold again, tasked with finding a job for the summer. Obviously, I'm exaggerating here. Getting a job is not the end of the world, even when you're a privileged college girl like me. 

 Nevertheless, I got a job at a local restaurant and worked frequently throughout the summer. Almost to a point where I felt like there was no time to enjoy anything else! Sorely mistaken, I was. 

This summer I must confess that I
developed some addictions I'm not proud of, and maybe some that I am proud of. Here's the short list:

1. Music, again (see my last post about AnCo)
2. Playing the drums
3. Smoking weed (uh oh)
   
4. Laying in patches of grass

Not as long of a list as I thought, but I think it's good enough. Yes, these four things are quite literally the only things that consumed my precious three months of me time. 

This summer felt very pivotal in my life. I had a lot of little moments that I was able to actually savor, remember and recall often. This summer was also a moment in my life where I actually felt comfortable in my skin for the first time in a while. 

I am naturally a person who is very self-conscious which can quickly turn into self-obsession if I am not careful. For a while, it felt like I was never able to fully enjoy myself because I was so worried about what people would think about me based on my actions or looks. It was hard to be able to recognize this intense fog of judgement and worry that circled me.

Freeing is the only way I can describe the way this summer felt. Feelings that were absolutely rooted deep within my inner self were practically crawling out of my mouth -- things that I never knew I felt about myself, my family, my friends and total strangers. 

Personally, I was shocked with myself. Like, wow, I really am a person who is capable of having naturally complex thoughts! I didn't have to have someone tell me what my opinion on an issue has to be (another part of a self-conscious person is following what everyone else thinks to fit in). And admittedly, yes, I was like this until recently. 

It's ok to feel this way, if you feel like this sometimes. Obviously, why would I be talking about it if it wasn't!

But I guess introspection isn't the only thing I did this summer. It is a privilege to see the things I see on a regular basis, especially being from southern California. I went to Catalina Island this summer, which is known for it's incredible nature preserve. 

The preserve contains animals like buffalo, who were brought to the island for a movie filming, and never left. Even though they were introduced to the island by humans, they actually serve a purpose for the island's ecosystem--something I learned on a tour I took with my family. 

We ended up getting super close to one of the buffalo, as it was on the trail that the tour goes on. Something always ignites in me when I see creatures of this size. I am simply reminded we are not the most incredible or magnificent creature this world has to offer. We are just a lucky coincidence.

Catalina's ocean was so clear, it made me almost forget that I live right next to one, too! It felt almost exotic, like we were somewhere halfway around the world. 

The streets were lined with homes and businesses in a way that felt European--buildings were almost stacked on top of each other, pieces of each spilling over into the next. The town itself is very small, only taking up about 15 or 20 percent of the island, so they need to use their space wisely. 

There's not much else to say about that trip except the fact that I had to get insanely stoned to make it on the treacherous voyage that would be taking the one hour ferry to the mainland. I had to do this because on the way there, I aggressively threw up over the side of the boat three times, where every single person on the boat could see. Definitely wanted to avoid that kind of attention the second time around. 

Even though this summer was filled with great moments spent with family and friends doing the things I love, I really have no other takeaway from this season than how my path of thinking has greatly changed, yet opened my eyes. 

That's about all I have for this post, until next time. Cheers!