Early Morning Waiting: October 2023

message

while i appreciate this message i can't accept it. i understand wanting to "turn a new leaf" but this message shouldn't only be to me. i hope that you sent this to molly as well as megan, as i think they were more wronged than i ever was. you really did hurt me because you were so quick to drop years of friendship with me. so any people warned me about you but i ignored it because you meant so much to me. for the rest of senior year i felt tormented because i was scared i was going to see you. this wasn't only felt by me, either, sara was scared to go to his class because he was scared he was going to be misgendered and then your friends did. i would never image you to be this kind of person and it really broke my heart. it saddened me to find out that you were creating situations that tore me away from other friendships as well. feel free to respond if you have anything to add, i'm open to a conversation.

i know you talk about this stuff megan said but i've never seen any proof about the things she's done. if there is anything about a list, the shirt, any megan comments she's made, i want to see them, otherwise i really don't believe you. i find it hard to believe you didn't know your friends were midgendering sara when you were with them. i also am curious as to why you're apologizing now. it seems very random.

you have ruined my life so now i ill make you watch me ruin yours

i genuinely had no clue about misgendering sara, we never talked about them at all. i know my friends had a class with them, What went on in that classroom I was not aware about anything going on. Megan however, the issue between what her and someone else there's proof of. But the things she has verbally said to me, I obviously have no proof of because there's no text or anything, it all happened in person. You don't have to believe me, I didn't expect you to anyways. The things she's said about my friends and I've heard with my own ears is all I care about I know what really happened. I would never lie on someone's name like that especially if it meant losing a good friendship. That's not even why I texted you, I'm apologizing because I'm in a good place in my life.

I have my own apartment, i have a good job, going to school, I'm in a happy relationship right now. I've genuinely grown up as a person. It makes me said that I couldn't share some moments with you. Es[ecially because we ere so close, it hurts to know that you have this perception of me, and I'm genuinely sorry for hurting you. I never wanted our friendship to end the way it did. Also I just feel I never got to explain myself to you at all during that. mostly because ou just took Megan's side after that conversation in the park. I thought we all brought up some good points, but it just didn't go as well as we thought.

i'm happy that you're doing well, it relieve me. in the last few months of our friendship i was deeply worried about you because i cared so i'm glad you are living a good life. maybe you're right about megan, maybe she's too embarrassed to come forward about her mean words she's said, but i think we've all said mean things in the past. i'll believe you on this part but it's not going to change anything about my opinions on her or your friends. it also makes me said that some big milestones couldn't be shared with you but i'm glad you are doing well. in general, i wasn't a fan of how the park conversation was approached, but i understood your concerns. i wished we could've talked this out before it was too late but it's okay. i really did appreciate you reaching out. there were a lot of times i felt i should reach out to you but was too afraid.

Early Morning Waiting

pgs

10/28/2023

things i've learned

10/28/2023

message

10/16/2023

beats

10/9/2023

to do monday 10.9.23

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