I've always been a healthy person, at least, I thought so. I ate pretty well, walked around and maintained a solid routine.
However, for about a week I spent my time in the hospital, combating something completely unexpected to me: Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome. Something I thought was completely a hoax, or at least something that would never happen to me. I guess it's time to come clean -- I smoke a lot of weed. I prefer it to alcohol and it was often my vice in social settings to ease my anxieties, but it was mostly just to relax at the end of a long day.
Even more unexpected to me, was the health problems that came with it. I actually found out that I was chronically deficient in potassium, something that is actually critically dangerous and I had idea about! But the scariest thing of all, was my CT scan results -- which revealed that part of my colon had collapsed due to the strain I was putting on my body.
I was shocked. And I still don't even know what that means.
What I quickly didn't realize is how dependent I became on it, how often I craved it and pretended I didn't, how my life honestly revolved around it. It makes me kind of sad to say, but I honestly don't want to quit, and I cried about it. Why me, of all people?
At that point, I wasn't waiting until the end of the day, I was basically waking up and smoking.
It's weird to say, but I'm pretty sure I was addicted, even if people tell you that you can't get addicted to weed. But I loved it, I loved the feeling, I loved the product, I loved everything about it. I don't even think I have an addictive personality but my attachment was so strong that I even cried about it when I first found out I had to give it up. It feels really weird to admit that.
It's actually only been a few days since I've been discharged from the hospital, but it feels like a lifetime at this point. The world keeps spinning whether I smoke a bowl or not.
I don't want to say I'm giving it up completely, because one day I just know I'm going to try again -- I know myself too well! But if this taught me anything, it's that I need to start taking my health seriously, even if I think I'm in the prime state of my life. I feel better about it, now that I've given it a few days it feels like I never relied on it at all.
Those first few days were hard, though: trying to fall asleep at the end of the night, feeling "bored" and hanging out with my friends while they still smoked. And not to say that I blame them either, I'd be doing the same thing! But honestly, those bored feeling are just being redirected into other hobbies and activities I enjoy doing, and it still brings me the same (or more!) joy than smoking did.
This isn't meant to be a weird self-help PSA or anything, either. I'm just sharing my experience with CHS and how I am choosing to tackle it.
Anyway, that's all I have to say about this for now, until next time, cheers!
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