how come everyone else has it figured out?

Sometimes I go through these strange crises where I feel like I am always doing everything wrong. I know I am not the only person that experiences this (my best friend and I talk about this almost every day), but for some reason, we can never reach a solution. Before I decided to actually go to a four-year university, I did not question my choices nearly as much as I do now. 

As a twenty year old moving to a new city and going to a new college is already a lot to handle. And, upon arrival, I realized that being a Business Administration major was not the person I am, or going to be after I graduate. It is tough to reach the decision of changing your college course (throwing everything away that you've been studying for almost two years), or doing something that would make you happy.

When you put it this way, it seems too simple. 

Of course, everyone wants to say they would always pick the latter choice. I would probably say that, too. But as I am reeling through this process, it seems to get more difficult as the days move forward. My main issue is plain and simple: I still don't know what I want to do with my life after college. 

For some reason, I have never once in my life thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up--I honestly never had answer to that question--and I guess that carries on to adulthood now. You can tell when people are definitive about their career choice. It looks confident, happy, anticipation for what comes next. I'm not sure I've ever had that look. 

A lot of times, I'm just so frustrated with myself because I have not found that passion yet. I always ask the question: why does everyone know what they want to do, but I can't make a simple decision? 

The short answer is not everyone has it figured out. Honestly, probably most people you encounter at this beautiful age of twenty don't know what they;re doing. Yeah, of course they don't. They all just wear a facade like you do. 

All of this talk about crises and how to cope with them has made me realize that all of the things that itnerest me will of course begin with struggle. It will probably be struggle for a long, aching time. But I guess that is life that is made for me. Now I must learn how to move forward while struggling. We should all learn to be more uncomfortable (this is just a reminder for myself, really). 

That's all I have on this for now, until next time.