what am i supposed to do?
i know you don't feel the same way as me but i am beyond desperate for your attention. i don't know what else to say. it makes me upset that you don't text me as much as you do with others. you have made it clear that you don't feel that way. i need to accept that but why is it so hard for me to actually do it? why am i heartbroken over someone who never even showed me any interest in the first place? i am conflicted why my own feelings. i find myself thinking about you at all hours of the day. i am helpless. my heart hurts. it's hard for me to eat. what a bittersweet feeling. i wish i could have known if you ever had any feelings for me whatsoever. honestly you probably didn't. and there isn't much i can do about that. i guess i have to acknowledge that and move past it.
i am anxious falling asleep tonight because of you. i feel stupid and small, knowing that you aren't thinking of me the way i think of you. all through the day i am anxious and afraid to eat in fear of falling ill if i happen to think of you when i start eating. i thought of you before i fell asleep last night. and tonight i have no choice but to do the same. i'm sorry. i know that if you knew this you would feel different around me. i don't want anything to change between us. but i can't change the way i feel about you.
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